Sunday, May 30, 2010

I think I'm terrified of dating

That sounds crazy right.
But, I think it's true.   I get a queasy feeling now with the very thought of just logging into the many dating sites I have been part of to even delete my profile.  Just an overwhelming panic at the idea of ever having to deal with another email from one of the sites.

I can't do this anymore, I quit I give up.

They never pay attention to what you write when you say what it is you are looking for, the guys you never want to hear from go right ahead anyway and message you and of course they are the only ones who do.  you never hear from the ones you want to hear from.

God forbid you tell someone you're just not interested cause then the spamming starts.

Does anyone actually meet organically anymore  offline?  I mean outside of bar stars. I don't know.
I'm tired of talking to myself on this thing about relationships too.  I'm tired of talking.  I just want to be able to be.   I was curled up on the sofa watching a Disney movie - yes I know bad as they make me cry like a two year old-  watching Princess Bride actually, and just imagining someone curled up with me their arms around me, the sound of their breathing as their breath hit my neck.

So you know, more crying.

And worst of all is the fact I need to write a nightmare scene for my lead character and nothing is coming to me at all.  So, I'm just frustrated on that regard.  Alone and Bitchy.