Sunday, September 27, 2015

The balance of it

The world is constantly reminding us to balance our lives. How many articles over the last 3 decades have been devoted to living our lives more balanced? Hell, whole books on the topic have been written.
But when was the last time you saw something that just talked about why we more often then not end up out of balance and embraced it?

There are parts of our personalities that many of us lean into more then others, creating this unbalanced nature. Times in our lives when we either do things because we become obsessed for short periods of time, or because we're looking for some sort of missing link in our lives.

That spinning out of control world-wind feeling. And yes, for many it will end up showing itself in physical or emotional ways when we get too far one direction or the other, causing us to actually realize that we're out of balance. And then there are a few who never seem to realize the connection. Why they're sick or depressed etc.

Why am I talking about this now?  Because I'm currently out of whack. Yep, I said it. My life is so far off kilter right now that I don't know what way is up.
And I ended up throwing myself into a series of crafting/blogging projects because of it. And of course as always when I do this, they were a complete and utter mess. Just ended up being total dren. I ended up having to redo them anyways.  I got stressed out, which for me always ends up in migraine headaches and body aches, paired with nightmares.

I admit, I get really really competitive this time of year. Other people it's x-mas that throws them into psycho mode, but me it's October season. (yes here October is a season all it's own not a month) I end up feeling like I have to prove myself on a bunch of different levels with the horror stuff and the domestic baking and the happy family Thanksgiving...(remember Canadian Thanksgiving is before Hallowe'en) and here's me falling apart at the end of September. Two weeks sooner then normal too I might add.

For the past month, I've barely blogged. Took such a step back from writing in general in anticipation of October's projects that I actually have started to feel guilty. Blogger's guilt. I don't feel guilt about anything, so why is it this time around something like not posting for a few weeks has me in a near panic?
That would be the out of balance part. So here's me, writing something to start the shift back to a more centered self. And in hopes at lest part of this horrible pounding migraine relaxes an inch.

Monday, August 24, 2015

One of the reasons my city sucks

For a city that has a lot, and I mean a lot of handicapped people, my city isn't really all that designed to be handicapped friendly.

I just watched a guy in a wheelchair, sit for almost three minutes trapped in one of those push-it-yourself- enter/exit carousels.  This was at the grocery. I ended up dropping my basket, going out the one end, coming back through the far door and helping him. God knows how long he would have sat there before anyone bothered to help otherwise.

Little pissed off.  The staff were staring right at him too. Just chatting it up ignoring him and their actual jobs.

As someone who's spent over half my life dealing with canes/crutches/wheelchairs myself, I can tell you how frealing frustrating it is to be needing something/get somewhere in this city when you're alone and end up finding yourself unable to do whatever it was because the place you need to go isn't equipped for someone with a handicap.
It's enough to cause you to break down and cry at times. In public.

The city council and the like talk all the time about how wonderful our health care staff are...that's fine and good, but there is a honest shortage of home care workers. 

I've ranted enough for today.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

now I'm heartbroken

I was feeling nostalgic and went to look at some old videos my friends and I had made, which were on one of our old websites, only to find they are missing. When I went to the old photobucket account, it says the account is empty.
What the hell???  I know they were uploaded in 2006 but still...

Anyways, those videos are lost forever as are the photos from that time frame in my life. In an odd strange way, I guess it's the universe's way of telling me it's beyond time to get over that point in my life. Those people as much as I loved them, have long since moved on in their lives.

This is what happens when you don't pay attention to those you care about, you find yourself in front of a blank account.  The love gone, the memories wiped clean and yourself scratching your head.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

July 29th 2015

I've just returned to using facebook after 5 years of if you are in the Thunder Bay area and would like to book a tarot reading with me, you can do so either through my profile (on the sidebar here) or by the Bliss Cafe Thunder Bay page. 
The readings at the Bliss Cafe are normally on Friday afternoons.  But I don't limit my bookings to just that.  Which is why I have returned to using facebook myself, to make it easier for people to book outside of Bliss Cafe if they find Fridays are not good for them.

Shameless promotion out of the way...

We have a second Full Moon this weekend. Which makes it a Blue Moon. I think I mentioned it the other week on's significant on a few levels. One being that this weekend is Lammas, and because it changes the order of the way the season's moons are counted. (yeah I still don't understand that part myself. New Moon then Full Moon turns to Full Moon then New Moon. Or something)

Monday, July 27, 2015

July 27th 2015 Ugh!

So I had a nasty computer virus, and have been without a computer for the last 4 days.  It's amazing how much housework you can get finished when you don't have the computer to distract you.  Though, went a bit stir crazy for the first few hours. Kept automatically walking into the area of the apartment that I've been using for my computer zone, automatically putting my coffee down and then have to snap out of autopilot cause, the desk was empty. Right, and since I do not have internet on my phone;  I spent half my time calling my mother asking her to look stuff up. Not the slickest moments of my weekend.

I did manage to get a sewing project half way completed. So that's bonus. Only problem now, there are way too many emails to stiff through.

And of course, it had to happen on a weekend when the temps were +29C with +39C humidex, so it was a staying indoors sort of weekend. Not that I take my pale self outside too often anyways.
We're sitting currently at +30C with a +40C...melting would be the catch phrase of the day.

Okay, just really wanted to post something after having been without a computer...

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Random talk 16th july 2015

Didn't mean to go this long between posts. But, I took a week off  from blogging in general this month, to get a head start on some Hallowe'en themed projects. 

Some of you my lovely Spudguns! might remember way way way back few years ago on this bloggy blog, that I wanted to make a Bride of Frankenstein dress.  Had gone out and bought a ton of material for it and everything.  I also mentioned around the same year, that I wanted to do a quilt. Went out and bought material at that point too. 

I never did do either.

But recently, I found all that old material and it's sparked an idea.  Which, I'm hoping to have done in time for October's Food n Flix post...which I do over on the movie blog. 

One of these lifetimes I will get my Bride of Frankenstein dress done.  If I have to slaughter innocent bunnies and jackrabbits and other furry things that most people find cuddling to do so... I really hate bunnies. It's not just a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan thing, I just don't like rabbits. Been that way since I was like 10 years old. Used to have a friend who had rabbits, and whenever I was over the damned things would hop around the house, gnawing on everything...your coat, your purse, you. Just can't stand the things. Except for the Alice in Wonderland white rabbit, who's always late...tell me you don't get the metaphor on that one Eh?  I can't tell you how many times I stayed there as a kid over night, only to wake up and find her rabbits breathing on me, chewing on my hair, rabbit poop on my sleeping bag... damn rabbits!

I'm sure there are a few love goddesses/gods who will smite me down for dissing their totem animals, but...

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

July 1st 2015

Spudguns!  Morning!  Happy Canada Day!!!

If you follow my movie blog, then you know that this morning I kicked off the theme week for July which is Clearly Canadian...and really no surprise there, as it's Canada Day and I announced it yesterday.

I also did a shout out to the July host for the food blogger group I'm part of. And let me take a moment to just say something.  It's not as easy as it looks.
You would think, watching a movie would be the stupidly easiest thing ever.  No people it's not.  You have to first find a copy, and not all of us can afford to buy the dvd if we don't have a copy already, and some of the older movies that get picked are no longer available new, so unless you want to spend a fortune buying from some hoarder who is charging $90 or more for a "rare out of print copy", your out of luck.  Me, I've resorted to watching pretty much all the movies so far online...sshh don't tell cause none have been on Netflix Canada at all...
THEN once you have located a copy, you have to watch it.  I mean watch it, pick it apart. That means pausing, rewinding, pausing etc.  Write down ever little scrap of food either shown or mentioned even background signs of restaurants.  Lucky for me, that's how I used to do my wrestling reviews back when I did them still. So got the method down.
Then comes the hard part, deciding what to make. You can take the obvious route and pick something in the movie or the hard route and come up with something that the movie sparked in your imagination.
Yeah, I love hard!
THEN you have to actually cook/bake it, take the photos, write up the recipe, talk about the movie, and be social about it.
What started off as a 90minute film has now turned into a two day event. Then what do you do when you've picked a movie either everyone choose to skip or just plan hated? Feelings get crushed like a skunk under a semi. Only the smell doesn't linger as long with the skunk.

That's how I'm spending my Canada you spending yours?

There is a Full Moon tonight, the first of two for July. This marks the point in the year where the "order" of  full moon/new moon changes.  I have no clue how that really works either?  I guess it's got to do somehow with how you pay attention to the moon phase for the next few months until Yule or something? 

And I still want to give a progress report on my weight...but can't figure out how to do so without sounding like an infomercial douchebag?   I can tell you this much, I was able to fit into a pair of jeans I haven't fit into in two years. So very happy about that.

This post took way longer then I had planned, really need coffee!
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