Thursday, August 5, 2010

PPPSSSSTTTTT.... just between us

Who's King Dork anyways?

I've had 4 people ask me.   I'm not telling.   The main lot know who King Dork is, (my friend Butterfly in Edmonton and her husband, my buddy Patrick and his series of crushes, my friend Nikki and her husband, Erin the evil one and her husband and my Niece her daughter, Ninja my sister, two blog buddies, the crazy teenager at blockbuster who insulted him.)    And he knows who he is.

Are you sure about that? 

I have had two different people, my Buddy Patrick and a female blog buddy both ask me this in the last 24 hours actually.   When I asked them why they asked Patrick said "men can be very stupid maybe he's not aware."  and my female blog buddy said
"I've heard around that he  does not have a clue and is actually jealous of all this attention you've been given your King Dork and that's why he said what he said the other night."

REALLY?  King Dork jealous of himself?  That would be .... just the thing he would do actually.
He thinks he's the coolest, the hottest dren in the bucket, and knows all he needs to do is message me with a quick "hey baby how you doing?"  and I'm like wobbly bits. So he has to know he's King Dork... right?

But, wouldn't that totally blow goat backwards if everyone and their dog's grandmother knew who King Dork was but King Dork himself?  Seriously, I mean man that would be odd.  You find yourself reading someone's blog that you read all the time, someone who you chat with and stuff and stuff and stuff, and suddenly see this new character there that you never heard of before and wonder who are you talking about?
Wow, dude!  that would bite ass twofold.

And funny very funny. If King Dork was well such a dork he did not know who he was. Dude, priceless. 

Okay, let's go with that for a second here.  Let's say King Dork is such a hoser he has no idea I'm actually talking about him.  Let's just run with that, frolic in the grass and scamper up the trees like woodlen creatures with a nut.
How would he feel?  Would he wonder with real interest who this new man in my life suddenly is?   Or maybe he'd get jealous and decide to pull some crap like threaten to beat the dren out of King Dork if he ever saw us together.   Would it cause him to stay awake at night thinking of how to make me drop my King Dork? 

Then there's the idea that he might think he's suddenly out of my league cause I've got some new character I'm drooling over. 
That would be interesting would it not?  Given I keep pointing out how much of a total dork King Dork is.  We're talking video game marathons here and cheese strings.

Oh yeah, there's a thought.  King Dork sitting on the sofa with a video game controller in his hands and large pieces of stringy food hanging out of his mouth that he could almost inhale without having to really use his hands for.  Just watch it quickly crawl up over his chin and into his waiting mouth between his clamped teeth just like a 6 year old would do.   Pushing up his glasses with the back of his wrist trying not to cause his video game character to fail and die.

Actually, I have never seen King Dork in glasses, I have no idea if he wears them but if he does then Dude I'm in TROUBLE!   as that would be like geek porn for me.   Seriously,  a man in glasses in stripped pajama bottoms and socks with his hair messed up.... sorry was it hot in here just now or did a nerd walk into my dreams.  MMMMM  Nerds.  The kind that likes to talk Star Trek vs Star Wars and the importance of a good roll of duct tape not the tiny candy kind that can choke small children. 

Oh I might have just thought of a new series of posts  Geek Porn.   oh my  this could get dangerous.
So my King Dork is the dorkest of them all ... but he's not the Geek-God.  Not even close.  Totally getting off the topic of my King Dork and onto the topic of a celebrity Geek-God,  Jay Baruchel... need I say more I didn't think so.