There's something wrong here I know it!
Around the beginning of the year, I asked the Universe/Fates/God/Goddess/Source what my REAL purpose on this planet was. I'm thinking getting a sign pointing me towards some other sort of career that I might not have thought of before like teacher or computer sales or replacing the coffee filters in the venting machines, but what happened was I got thrown into a mass of mommies.
What's going on here?
No joke. First off was the movie Motherhood, followed by most of the blogging networks I was part of being mostly mommy blogs, to my sister moving in with her boyfriend and taking on the role of step mom to his four kids like a fish to water. I ran from this faster then you could say bad hair day.
I put the question out there again, what am I suppose to be doing, why am I on this planet? My tarots repeatedly had the Empress and the Queen of Pentacles which are motherhood cards. I started getting asked out by a mass of single dads. And another round of mommy movies suddenly were in my face Back Up Plan, The Switch, Bad Mother's HandBook, not too mention the dreams I've been having of a little boy.
As a writer, I tend to favour the same six or so names and get scolded every time by my friend Erin when she agrees to read them. I've been wanting to get a book of baby names for my writing and was thinking this yesterday.
Less then an hour later, I got an email from one of the publishing companies I do book reviews for, telling me that because of some of the work I've done I could pick from a small selection of back books. The choices were mostly ones they already sent me and a book of baby names. Now if that isn't a massive slap to the face with a dead fish, I don't know what is.
So here is me this morning flipping through movie trailers on iTunes Canada, and the Back Up Plan was on. My thoughts as I jumped up from the computer, "I can not do this! It's not what I want! It's not who I am!"
I was in the shower thinking about this whole thing, the whole time thinking "I just want to be married to the right guy."
I would make the worst parent on the planet. So why the hell is this the only thing I can think of last few days?