Sunday, July 25, 2010

Time

There is an episode of Farscape (I can't remember the title or season and I do NOT have that series on dvd)   that is about Time.   One scene has the lead character standing in a limbo plane with a God like entity talking about how time is one.  There is no beginning and no ending just what we witness and what we do not.

What The Bleep Do We Know   talks about the same idea.   We are living more then one "right now"  but are only open and present to one version of these multi- right nows.  

I mentioned the other night, that I was upset with myself because I was running late for the meeting with my aunt Maggie.  She was not even batting an eye.   I am the kind of person that if you tell me to be somewhere at 9:50 am   I will be there at 9:30am just to be sure I am not late.  I had been late Friday morning getting to the appointment at 10:01am.  My aunt laughed and simply said "You are right on time, as this is the time that you were meant to show up cause this is when you arrived."

Learning patience is something I am in the process of doing.   You would think that someone with my type of disability would be a more patient person.  Total opposite. 
I've spent my whole life waiting.   Waiting in x-ray, waiting for the casting clinic guy to remove a cast and recast my broken parts, waiting for surgeries, waiting for specialists to see me, waiting for results, waiting for winter to end, waiting for friends to call when they have some free time, waiting for payday, waiting for painkillers to kick in, waiting for ... you get the idea. 
All that waiting makes you start to get frustrated with the world.  You get tired and angry and when you have the mobility, you do everything in your power to make things work then to YOUR SCHEDULE.

Here's the catch. And there is always a catch.   Life has no schedule.   The universe will put you where you need to be when you need to be there.   It took me a very very long time to understand this.  I think it happened between the last injury and just now that I learned this.   Okay, so I knew it all along, I was just being a pain in the ass and not wanting to believe it.  

And I know I know this, because two of my all time favourite things to say are "Everything happens for a reason when it happens to whom it happens to"    and most recently  "A watched pot never boils"

Arielle Ford, whom you've heard me talk about a few times,  has on her website The Soulmate Secret , an affirmation called "Letter from God"  that states "I'm working at this moment to have you both ready at the same time" 
Oh you know where I'm going with this my Spudguns,  yeah,  I've been banging my skull on the wall asking  "I've been dating since I was 15 where is he already?"   which of course is a stupid thing to be doing as not only is it not getting me anywhere, banging your skull on the wall just gives you headaches and a blood splatter to clean that even Tide can't handle.

I got the answer today.  Well, you know I've known the answer for awhile now just being stubborn and not letting it be spoken out loud.   HE'S NOT READY YET.    plan and simple.   Cause if my soulmate was ready for me to be in his life,  he'd have shown up on my doorstep by now.  Or you know, tripped over his shoes in front of me at the tofu section of the grocery, or in front of the cookbooks at the book store. 

So while I wait as patiently as I can,  I need something to fill the time while HE becomes ready for me and all I have to offer him.  Which, as we've established is a lot cause I am inspirational, cute, loyal (to those who've earned it) brutally honest, I 'm creative, I'm funny, and have exceptional taste in wrestlers.  Oh and of course I can cook too. 
I mean seriously, what else could an X-Division wrestler    a man ask for?    Well that's a loaded question now isn't it? 
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