Sunday, July 11, 2010

Food + Tattoo= Husband ?

About a month ago I was hanging around one of the many online foodie communities I've joined, and saw this cute guy.  I had been talking at the same time to my buddy Patrick and said to him  "this is how I'm going to meet my husband.  Through food."    He laughed and made a comment about not saying that too loud or my tag team might hear me.   It's funny,  to me it's funny.

Back track a bit here.   Last November, I was standing in line at the grocery and this new stock boy kept walking past the check out.   He worked there so you know it made sense.  Then he just stopped and kind of hovered for a few minutes and I was thinking "is he staring at me?  Do I have something hanging off of me?  Did I walk out of the house with a dryer sheet on my ass or something?"   So StockBoy is hovering and then starts staring at me wide eyed and reaches over touching my arm. Of course my tattoo.  I'm so used to it that I forget I have half my left arm painted up.  He asked me if it was new,  and he was a very sweet shade of beet red when he asked.  Told him no, I'd had it done a year before.  StockBoy nodded and moved on to another part of the store. 

Fast forward back to this week.  StockBoy is now ExpressCheckout- Guy.   And a total male specimen of cute I might add.  Though I'd put him at maybe 22 or 24 at the most.   Too young for me.  9 years younger is perfect but anything more than that would be just creepy.
Now, you can always tell when he's working cause the line up for his check out is a mile long and smells very much like the make-up department of Sears.  I've watched 75 year old ladies flirt with him and 17 year olds try to flirt with him.  It's cute, painfully cute. 

So I was standing there in line, waiting my turn and considering how hot it's been out lately, the air conditioning of the grocery was a blessing so not really caring too much if the line ever moved. And this one girl who also works there decided she needed to pull a Caroline Bingley.   (the snotty society girl from Pride and Prejudice that tries to marry Mr. Darcy)
As in she felt the need to for no reason at all walk away from her check out and around the back of the line by the wall behind ExpressCheckout-Guy around the edge of his check out and back to her own.  As she did so, she looked over at me letting out a deep sigh.  By this time I was one person away from it being my turn to pay.

What the hell was all that about? 
So then it was my turn to pay and ExpressCheckout-Guy rings me through and points to my arm again saying that it still looks great, and it's been now close to two years since I first got my tattoo done. He's looking at my items, and points out the obvious that I'm a vegetarian.  I smile thinking I really do not want to have to go back outside to the heatwave. 

As I am leaving the building, one of the ladies who work the bakery walked up to me and said "That's two now."   I'm looking at her like she's just spoken in a different language or something not getting what she meant.  I guess my stupidity was really showing, which it would have been with my attempt at a raised eyebrow.  She laughed and nodded to ExpressCheckout-Guy.   "Him and N."  she walked off to her bakery counter and I was left in a total daze.    (N. is another guy who works check out too)
So I am walking out and turn back for a half a second and catch ExpressCheckout-Guy looking at me.

I feel special.  

I still believe I'm going to meet the right guy either in the grocery, or at a bookstore (maybe in the cook book section?)  or by this blog.  (remember my vision/fantasy the other month of the ideal guy reading my blog)  There is a locker room full of X-Division guys weeping as they read this sharing a box of Lucky Charms telling each other they need to take cooking lessons now. 
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