Thursday, February 10, 2011

I have the attitude of a man

... trapped in the body of a straight woman. 

Um... okay that sounds about right.  

Was at the pharmacy, and standing in line aka hell, listening to two teens reading some magazine, behind me. They were reading out some article about how men show us they love us. I was eavesdropping cause what are you going do to to avoid them when they are less then a foot behind you.  Anyways, all I could think was that if the article was right about certain things, then damn I'm really really not your typical chick. 

It talked about brunches, and shopping and talking.  And how men do these things with us because they feel trapped  it's how you lot show us you love us without killing large rodents of unusual size or battle giants or something else very much like something you would see in the movie Princess Bride that the hero does.

First of all, I hate brunch and the only time I would ever ask a man to do brunch would be if we had a funeral to go to and I didn't have the energy to cook. 
Not too mention, I've never had a mimosa and don't even know what the hell it is.... okay scratch that, I just googled it cause I kept spelling it wrong, and it's a fruity fluffy drink.   I don't do fruity fluffy drinks and I hate champagne. 
Second thing,  I hate shopping with other people.  Hate it! If I go shopping, I prefer to go alone, so that I can either A) get what I need in twenty minutes catching the next bus home on a transfer-pass,  or B) want to just escape everyone for a few hours (which in that case I would more then likely go to a movie and sit in the cinema with my phone off)  So unless I have broken body parts and actually need someone with me to carry stuff, I wouldn't torture a guy by asking him to go shopping.
Third, talking.  I know men hate to really really talk.  If I want your option on something I'll ask, if I want to rant and think you might need to be clued in on the rant, I'll tell you to read my blog that day.

As I'm standing in what seems like the longest line on the face of the planet for anything, and when you're in pain everything feels like it's ten times worse  still waiting for the damned pain pills to kick in. I couldn't help but think that I've heard this before, this article can't be new. So I checked a few articles I remember seeing online, and yeah pieces were indeed familiar.  I wish I knew what magazine those girls were reading. 
The online one was at the Frisky. And the rest of it included something about being a total pig until finding someone worth cleaning up your act for.   Yeah, that sounds like this girl too.  I hate housework and I have to admit, I will put off doing any of it till it's so bad I have no choice.