Saturday, February 26, 2011


I'm not good with changes.
It freaks me out. 

I'm not too bad if you tell me ahead of time that things are going to be switched up, or happen.  But when I'm not prepared for things, that's when I panic. 
I think it's connected with the Osteogenesis Imperfecta.  Not that it's a side effect,  I was meaning the easily panic part due to how often the O.I. has left me broken out of nowhere.
If that makes any sense. 

Actually, you would think that I'd be used to stuff just happening without warning that leaves me hurt/stranded/motionless/and in a different element for awhile,  but no I never am.
I'm the last person you need to have around during an emergency, as much as I hate to admit it, I need to.

By now, we've all learned one way or another that for real growth to happen, something has to change. Usually that means, something no matter how small needs to be destroyed in order to clear room for something fresh to take hold.

I'm not too sure what my glitch is that makes me unable to cope well under stress.  There was a time, I was able to handle anything you threw at me, calmly, and with grace. 
If you knew me back in college, you'd never recognize me now.  That's good and bad.  And isn't it always the little things that get under our skin?

So you are thinking, what brought all this on tonight?  Something so innocent and almost not worth noticing. 
My day started off in one direction, on a positive note actually, but it's ended in a bit of chaos that had me just going for something that was comforting.  Only, that something was no longer there.  Just two small little videos on the Spike site that I thought would waste some time and distract me from the stuff in my real life that was upsetting me.  Only, the Spike site got an upgrade and the two MMG videos are no longer there.  Nor are any of the comments from myself (the one and only time I left a comment) or the other fans on anything.  Sort of sucks.  Just another sign that nothing can stay the same.  Even the tiniest of things.

And with a deep sigh, I must deal with what had  upset me to begin with, without my internet version of mental comfort food. 
If that makes any sense to anyone else.