Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Unopened Letters To An Imaginary Husband part 9

My Dearest Love:

I hurt when you hurt, and I hate that I can make you hurt
I sing when you sing, you make me shine
And you know that behind every door is another secret room filled with flowers I've picked for you, always in bloom
All this you've said to me, my dearest love, my husband, my mate
I'm glad we are together in this lifeboat called fate
I am grateful for all the little seconds we share, elegant, foul, rough, sweet, sour and delicate
Even when we do not feel very grateful to each other, even when our mouths get us into trouble, or our egos take a tumble, or our hearts get bruised and broken,  I still thank the universe for you
I am grateful for your skin, you eyes, your smile next to me in the dark, in the glance we share across a room filled with your friends, in the mornings when we plan our day, and the afternoons when we do nothing but abuse the sofa
I am grateful for your touch, your voice, your ear, when you actually hear  what I am saying and not just listen mindlessly,
I am grateful you feel safe enough to tell me about your day, your fears, your disgust, your desires,
All this I've said in return to you, my dearest love, my husband, my mate

Love Always, Ardeth Blood

I've been writing these gratitude poems now for about a year and a half.  They were so easy in the beginning, but as of late I have been finding it really hard to keep up a positive feeling. I'm starting to feel fake plastic.  And I remembered why and how I started the first one.  For gratitude for what has not been giving yet, living as is, and excepting the balance of the high times and the low times that come in every relationship.  This one I wrote under 5 minutes.