Friday, April 23, 2010

The Book Dork is In... Episodes 1-3

Last time on the Book Dork our heroine was standing lost in the middle of the book store unable to reach a copy of Vanity Fair that was perched very high on a top shelf and she had to find a sales person to help her reach it. Only, the sales people were just as short and no one could find a step ladder.
Now today on the Book Dork....

Book Dork : "So has the shipment of Bridget Jones's Diary Edge of Reason come in?"

Sales person: "No. Sorry it hasn't."

Book Dork : " But it's Tuesday. It's new release day. Thought you got them on Monday nights?"

Sales person : "Yes, but Bridget didn't come in. "

Book Dork: " You suck."

Sales person: "Better then you do honey."

Stay tuned for another episode of the Book Dork Adventures in Geekiness.

Last time on the book dork, our heroine was trying to replace a copy of Bridget Jones 2 because she could not find hers. She still can not.
Now Today on the Book Dork...

Book Club: This month, EMMA!

Book Dork: Wow. Deja Vu. I was just looking through my Jane Austen wondering what to read next, thinking about the scene in the movie version of Jane Austen Book Club were they are talking about how in Emma, Mr. Knightley only scolds Emma and how the character Grigg points out it's because Knightley is totally in love with her and just wants her not to be so immature. Was thinking about that scene cause of something Paula said to me.

Book Club: Well, okay. Great. We're doing Emma cause the remake of the movie is being showcased this month on Master Piece Theater.

Book Dork: Well that sucks. I don't have cable. Won't get to see it.

Book Club: But you have a copy of the book right?

Book Dork: Two actually. All the books in single copies, and a collector's edition with all the books together in one large heavy volume.

Book Club: Well okay. Great. We're doing Emma.

Book Dork: Yeah. Caught that part.

Tune in next time for another episode of Book Dork Adventures in Geekiness

Last time on the Book Dork, our heroine was informed that her book club was reading Emma. Now today on the Book Dork...

Chapters Fan Member: Aren't you excited? I'm excited.

Book Dork: About a book that isn't even being released until 2012? No not really.

Chapters Fan Member: What? How can you not be excited about the release of this Young Adult Super Romance Novel that is not going to be released until 2012 that the author hasn't even written yet but has been signed to write?

Book Dork: Um 1) The book hasn't even been written yet and 2) I don't read the author's stuff. I just don't understand what makes it any different from the other generic Young Adult Super Romance Novels that are out there?

Chapters Fan Member: Well duh! Cause SHE writes Paranormal Erotic Youth Books. This series is spin off with witches from the series she did with werewolves which was a spin off from a series she did originally for vampires.

Book Dork: The author writes smut for teenagers that happens to have a Wiccan theme? Right like I said how is it any different and smut for teenagers shouldn't that be you know, wrong? I always thought Erotica was soft - to-hardcore porn with pretty covers?

Chapters Fan Member: OMG! How can you say that? How can you say Crimson Love Junkie by SHE is the same to Amber Lust Addict by HER? That's just ridiculous now isn't it? Clearly they are totally different from each other, I know right? SHE 's books are clearly stand out from the other authors in the genre cause you know her lead character is this totally tortured soul who's greatest love, soulmate even, is a vampire and they can't be together because his family would never understand cause she's a hunter and is human. Where as HER's books are totally different because it's lead character is a half human half demon who's working as a demon tracker and can't be with his greatest love, soulmate even, because she's an angel, and therefore he's this totally tortured soul and his friends who are also half demons just can't accept it.

Book Dork: Um okay.

Chapters Fan Member: AND! The whole Crimson Love Junkie series has these covers that are you know, really hot looking goth guys on the covers that are totally covered in tattoos with long straight hair where as Amber Lust Addicts series covers have emo guys on the covers that are totally covered in tattoos with hair that comes to their shoulders.

Book Dork: Um, they used the same models. And I just googled HER. It's actually HIM and they write sports reports for a large newspaper in the Montreal.

Chapters Fan Member: What are you trying to say? That a man wrote these Young Adult Super Romance Novels just for teenaged girls who have dreams of unrealistic Romeo and Juliet style heroes? Don't be silly, men can't write Young Adult Super Romance Novels. It's impossible. You're just trying to bring down my buzz about the new book being released in 2012 that the author hasn't even written yet and I won't let you.

Book Dork: Okay, I'm going to go over here now.

Tune in next time for another episode of Book Dork Adventures in Geekiness.

These were originally a series of posts on my Andrew and the Aluminumsidings blog that I did back in Jan 2010.
I'm posting them here because I am starting up the series again.