Monday, May 16, 2011

My family is weird

But you already knew that. (to quote Alberto Del Rio.)

No, seriously, my family makes me wonder sometimes about our gene pool.  Like yesterday for instance.
Picture it, yours ghouly your heroine and heroin, was sitting on the sofa trying to watch the DVD "The Other Guys" eating a semi-large dish of chocolate ice cream at mother's {this was mom's movie pick actually} when in comes my mother's cousin {who is about to turn 90 this year and does not look a day over 60 not even playing here. I hope I hold up half as well}  and her son who is nearly 60. 

This is where the weird comes in.  My aunt {right? no? freal I don't know what to call her. She's my mom's cousin so that makes her my ... aunt? cousin? whatever on with the story} stares right at me and starts talking about how my nearly 60 year old cousin who is sitting right there on sofa beside us all {I got kicked to the kitchen table actually} who has never moved out of the house and has never been married is looking finally for a wife.  

Did I mention that I come from a very extremely church going Protestant-Salvation Army family... well Spudguns (and Spuddy) guess what, I come from an extremely church going Protestant-Salvation Army family as most Newfies are.  So that means a few things,  A) my nearly 60 year old male cousin will only marry an extremely church going Protestant-Salvation Army woman.  and B) I don't even want to think about what the male version of an "old maid" is. 
And there is my aunt, talking freely about said nearly 60 year old male version of an old maid cousin, and how he needs to get married before her and my uncle die.  And telling him {and those of us in the room and now you my giggling Spudguns} how he does not want anyone older or younger or anyone divorced or widowed with kids or ... and this is the kicker... someone who's not "of the church". 

At that point, I got up, went and got my purse, text my buddy Matt and headed to the grocery where I  flirted semi-shamelessly with ExpressCheckOut-Guy. Just because I could.