You know when something is bothering you, when something is on your mind to the point of haunting you; you seem to find it in your face at every turn?
I had one of those yesterday.
I was in the grocery as usual, and was tapped on the shoulder. I turned to see my dad's oldest friend standing there with a cart full of toilet paper. He asked me if what he'd heard about my dad was true this time. My answer was to roll my eyes and tell him that whatever it was he heard to take it with a box of salt. Then he asked me how my novel was coming.
I stammered. My novel. It was like being punched in the gut. All I could do was take a deep breath and say I was on draft 6 and still without an editor. I know I shrugged, and had to admit it was on hold for now.
He made a face, like when you know someone is dying to say "I told you so. I knew you were talentless"
Hang on, it gets worse. ExpressCheckout-Guy was right beside us. He had been staring at me while I was in line a few minutes before, (ECG was working the self-serve checkout right beside the one I was at. And there was no lacking the teenaged girls in his line) and I caught him listening in. Only he had this look on his face that made me feel like crap. Have I mentioned at all that ECG is in university to be a Child Care Specialist?
Yeah, he's gorgeous, uber smart, and has a 100% heart of gold.
And here's me, confessing that I'm still less then successful. God, I'm like a good 13 years older then ECG and he's rising above me faster then you can say two-ply.
And you wonder why I hate living in reality.