10:33 pm

Spudguns,  I just sat here typing out a rant and decided against posting it.  I am finding myself doing that more often lately then I ever thought I would.   Writing up a blog post and shelving it.


Let's talk about the Fool for a few minutes shall we.   I mean the tarot not me right now. 


The card shown here is from the Crow Magic deck.
Depending on what deck you are using, the Fool is either numbered 0 or 22.  It's the first card normally in the Major Arcana and represents  beginnings, blind faith, trendsetting, naivete, innocence, purity, and freedom.
It's also connected to the zodiacs of Aquarius, Gemini and Libra. 

And you're asking, why are we chatting about the Fool card?     Because Spudgun, it's been popping up at me for the last few weeks.  And you know how that goes, when I am being haunted by a card, I need to talk about it.  
Though in this case, as in most cases, I have no idea what it's trying to yammer at me about?  Do I need to be starting something?  Having more faith in something/someone?  Starting a trend?  Totally clueless here.

I'm done fighting.  I'm tired of the way things have turned out.

Scream and scream again...and again

I'm a bit hyper over the fact there are a few new vampire movies coming out this summer.  Priest comes out this month and one called Stake Land  came out last month (translation we did not get it and I have to wait till middle of the summer for the DVD) {vampires vampires vampires! (just doing the happy dance)}
I really must sit down one day and devote some time to my poor *new* vampire blog that I started last year.  I say *new*  cause some of you might remember my old vampire review blog Alucard's Rose.
Which I ran for almost 3 years.  And you are thinking why did I stop and why did I create a new one?  Well, I stopped because I thought I was moving on from that area of my life.   And I created a new one because I had started to miss it.   Well Spudgun, it made sense to me at the time. 
A few of the books I have on the review pile are vampire books, so I'm hoping to kick start the vampire blog again in a few weeks time when I review those books.   Makes sense.

In the meantime Spudgun (and Spuddy)  I still have not found my Fright-Rags shirt. (for the vampire movie Fright Night) It's still missing somewhere in this apartment.   Damn, that was a cool shirt! (me in 2007)  and Damn, that was a great hair dye.  I just can not seem to get my mop to do that anymore.  I'm still on the red-side no matter what bleaching kit I use it just does not seem to want to work.
I swear, the universe want's me a redhead. Much to my own horror.

Yes I know, when it comes to my hair I have a Billy Idol obsession going.  

A letter

Why are you doing this?  You're wasting your life. Stop it!
Stop chasing your tail around like a dog.  You've got more brains then this.  Stop, stop, stop! 
You need to give up the past. It's over. Live!   You are an artist so paint!!!!!!!!!!! 


Okay so it did not come in the form of a letter, it came in the form of a rant from a very highstrung gay man who I used to be close friends with that I bumped into when I went to Tim Horton's for coffee this afternoon. 
He never saw me as a writer.  Never saw me as a poet.  And the kicker here is, he and I were in a band together very briefly back in 2003 (like a month briefly)  and I wrote all our lyrics.
But he always liked the paintings/drawings I had around the apartment.  Or as he called it "my cavedrawings in the gallery" 
I've posted a few of my paintings online over the years, and honestly, I'm not overly comfortable with showing my art.  It unnerves me.  I do not have a proper style or any training beyond Grade 10 art class and the Photography class we had to take in college for Television.
But it's always interesting to see how other people view my talents/gifts/hobbies.
I've only had two people in my whole life who have actually liked my stuff. As in all my creative attempts/outlets.  One aunt and this gay friend.

All the astrology newsletters I follow, have this point in time (May-June 2011) as a time to be reevaluating your passions.  With certain planets making shifts in the zodiac right now, a ton of people will have a new path open up before them.  The path your true self is needing to go on.  For some this might be a hobby, or a job, or a relationship. 
I'm not too sure what lays on the road of my path, but I sure as hell hope it appears quickly.

Are you awake?

Spudguns... morning. 

So I heard back from the IntenseDebate person about comments.   They're gone.  A years worth of comments gone.  They said with the whole url link override cloning mess, the system looked at it as a fresh site and reinstalled the comment box. 
So even though I can log into IntenseDebate  and read all the comments stored in there,  they are wiped off the blog (everything before last Sunday when this mess happened)

Did I mention last week that no one showed for book club?  Hey Spudgun, guess what, my fears came true, no one showed last week for the book club.  I was sitting there for a half hour going "lovely where is Eric Young when you need some comedy".   It was sad.  Me sitting there alone in Starbucks with my stack of books.
That's it man, I've been banging my head against a wall for over a year with this book club, and I'm done with it.  Done. Over. Done.
I'll just still to the damned book club blog and forget even trying to have one in the physical world.  Too much work for nothing.   Yes I know, I'm on the uber pessimistic side today, but seriously dude, I'm just tired of trying. 
Tired of trying to have friends, tired of trying to connect with people, tired of always coming out on the bottom of a situation. 

I feel weighed down with the trying. 
Life is too frealing short to be trying to connect.   God damn Spuddy, looking at that photo and thinking that that cappuccino looks good.   

Okay Spuddy, it's coffee time.

Splat!

As you can see, cream of mushroom soup went everywhere.   This is what I get for multitasking.
I was cooking, watching wrestling and this was on the weekend when I was distracted in general.

Oh and this is not my kitchen either.  It's mom's.  What you see is only part of the mess.   It was gross.  Took awhile to mop it all up too.

Note to self, when using heavy machinery such as a can opener, make sure that there are no tag team matches on tv.

Tuesday May Morning

Okay my coffee drinking, Spudguns.   I'm more then a bit upset over the whole blog issue from the weekend. 
And part of that has to do with the fact ALL MY COMMENTS ARE GONE!   Everything before Sunday's comments are lost on the blog.    I contacted IntenseDebate,   but as far as things on their end, the comments are still in my account history.  They are just missing from the actual blog.
A year's worth of interacting with you lovely ladies missing. 

This is upsetting to me, because getting comments and feedback is something I live for.   So AND this also means all the Wishcasting Wednesdays posts are empty now.  I have no idea if they will be restored or not.  I'm hoping they will.

One bright spot

I used screen capture for this post.

There is nothing else to say.   The MotorCityMachine Guns!  I won't even nag about the hair Mr. Shelley.